Growing Pot

I will write to try and provide input as a long term smoker, 27 years and still tokin.

I hold a full time job in a responsible position while raising 7 kids to be decent citizens and human beings. I smoke everyday starting with my morning coffee, off to work and home at 6 in the evening for my second joint of the day. And one more before bedtime. (Or 3 or 4 heads on a bong). On weekends the routine varies.

I have been smoking since the age of 16 and cannot remember a time when I didn't smoke. During highschool I naturally didn't smoke everyday, I was away at boarding school, so it was only on weekends. The same during the army (input from Israel). I am still married to the boyfriend I started smoking with. While I don't suffer from any long term affects, I am also a heavy cigarette smoker and besides getting out of breath going up 3 stories, I'm OK (knock on wood). One long term affect may be the fact that I have 7 kids and was stoned while making all of them, never stopping to think about the future. Thank god they are all completely normal (one hyperactive) but other then that they are beautiful, healthy, and all above average intelligently. Considering all the tests I see younger women having today, before and during preganancy, I have had "more luck than brains".

One affect is that I do not get stoned or high, but then I never was one of those who "lost it" while smoking. I have also smoked a lot of hash during the years it was more available then grass here in Israel, but have never tried anything stronger and have no wish to. I am completely in control at all times. I just am calm and relaxed and feel good when I smoke. I am probably addicted, although not physically, as we all know, just in my head. If there is nothing to be found to smoke for a while the first couple of days are frustrating and thats it, although this hasn't happened for a long while and I don't know how I would actually react during a serious "dry" period.

Are you learning anything? I just happened to find your question during my own surfing the web and looking for answers (or verifications) that what I am doing is OK. I may have found a place here to talk about myself and my smoking, which nobody in my work or social circles know anything about. My older kids know and accept although all my smoking at home is done when I am alone. My mother ( a daily visitor to my household) doesn't know either. My main problem is red-eyes and I am probably harming myself more with the Stilla then with the marijuana. My father also smokes and has since I was a child as far as I know, he lives in the states and I haven't discussed it with him. I don't see any longterm affects on him either.

My husband on the other hand, who started smoking with me, was recently diagnossed with mania depression, not from the smoking because looking back over the years the disease was always there but more easily overlooked. He stopped smoking cigarettes a few years ago and was smoking only weed for about a year and he became slightly crazy and eventually was stopped on the road and found to have some smoke with him. This was terrible for him, he lost his firearms license, and consequently his job in security. bringing upon him a long depression, lasting a very long time. He also stopped smoking at the time, got himself out of the depression and had a good year. But when things got too good he became "mania" (or whatever you call the opposite of depression) and started smoking marijuana again, almost nonstop, and also drinking a lot of beer. Anyway, to make a long story short, he has since started treatment for his mania depression and does not smoke anymore, but one of my worst fears is that he will start again and our lives will go crazy again. So that, for him, smoking marijuana is not a good thing, while for me it is fine.

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